I am now in class IX and seventeen years. It is anybody’s guess that I am overaged. I am bold enough to confess that I have not reached so far without stumbling once or twice in a class or two. It is because I have never loved books, nor have I any desire to make them my career. To tell the truth, even my parents have washed their hands off it. We are two brothers; and my younger brother is, to everybody’s surprise and dismay, appallingly (=amazingly) bright. I know that God is a non-Communist in his distribution of merits. So in our family I was treated as a persona non grata (= a person deserving no thanks)-an article fit for the backyard dump-room (= where useless articles are piled). My younger brother, on the other hand, was a drawing-room showpiece.
I may not love books, but I am not a ‘loveless’ being, to coin had got an expression that could mean, having no love for anything. I love sports, where I bagged prizes – cups, medals. My parents a small almirah made for their display. They still adorn (= decorate) our drawing-room, but I am shunted into a siding. As I grew up the question of my career began to draw a dark pall over my parent’s face. I have a good voice in songs and have scored in theatres and competitions. But, to them, these are useless decorations, good to the ear or eye, but of no lasting value.
I do not know, for certain, what is in store for me after my school days. My parents too, are at a loss. Being dull and drab beside my brother, I look like the pale aluminium moon as she is sometimes caught in broad sunlight.
I know that although my Maker is cruel miser in not giving me a pinch of green matter (= brain-stuff), He is not like a tyrant that gives no grace to his tenants. He compensates. Apart from my above two gifts, I am endowed with a sharp pickup (= capacity to learn the secret of a trade quickly enough). Often my father suffers a jam (= a dead-halt) with his scooter just at office-time. I have promptly stepped in and restored the vehicle. Many a time I have saved their expenses by restoring light.
Another sad situation with my life is this. I must say that here my Maker is unfair to me. He (God) caused my younger to be born just two years after me. He could have easily widened the gap. The result of this short interval is that in my life’s race I am always afraid that he will trip me. A longer gap could have compelled them to think about my future. But as it is their whole attention is on him.
Be that as it may, any of my above gifts can give me a berth in life, I think. I can make a mark as a sports trainee or as an apprentice in some auto garage in view of my aptitude (= bent) in these. These, however, are my own feelings. But what is actually in store for me in the think-locker of my parents, is still unknown to me.
I am unambitious about my career; I have always been uninterested in rank or position in the class. But I am not a lifeless bloc, either, not to think about my future. On the contrary, this school-life seems to be a prison-cell to me. At home as well as at the school the constant hammer-stroke of ‘career’ has become as passionless and monotonous to me as the sound of a generator- set. As such, I earnestly yearn for the days when I shall be out of this wall.
I often lend my ear (= try to hear) to the doors where my parents sometimes plan. I think, being the elder of the two, I must be in their talk. But alas! There also the mettlesome (= more spirited) horse – my younger brother gets the better of me.
However, I decided to apply all my resources to get through the hurdle of class X. The situation was becoming most uneasy. I must cast the saddle off my shoulder, I thought, and find myself a free horse in an open field. Let time decide what is in store.
My father owns twelve rickshaws plying through the town. He has business instinct and we saw the number of rickshaws multiply through time. To escape the cheats of repair-shops, he has engaged a mistri (= mechanic) who checks the vehicles. I heard him say one day, Khokababu, you are to be my lord after passing out. Yes, your father told me this the other day. What! I shuddered, what for? To keep accounts, he said. My feelings sank in distress. So, this is in store for me after my school-life!
